Planning a wedding can sometimes appear to be stressful so I dedicate this page to all couples so they can take a moment or two to have a smile! Enjoy!!! Wedding Funnies I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner) My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman) I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the carburettor'. I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the lake'. (Henny Youngman) Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller) A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'  I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. After his husband forgot the wedding anniversary, his wife tells him: 'You'd better have something in front of the house, tomorrow, which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds.' The next day, she finds on the road, a bathroom scale. Married for many years, Paul had been ignored by his wife, Liz, for some days, so eventually he confronted her with what he perceived as the problem. 'Come on Liz, admit it,' he ranted, 'You only married me because my granddad left me $6 million, didn't you?' 'You really are silly, Paul,' retorted Liz loudly, 'I couldn't care less who left it to you.' A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, 'No, I was thinking about the time before our nuptuals. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!'   Why is it every time I go to a wedding old people always say to me “Your next?” Next time I go to a funeral Im going to say “Your next” to see what they say!!! Laying in bed one night my wife asks me if she died would I remarry.......Worrying where this was heading I replied that as we were young its possible I would “Will you live in this house?” She asked. Cautiously I replied that as the house was paid for it would make sense we lived there. “Would you let her drive my car?” she asked Again cautiously I replied that as we owned the car it made sense to keep it. “Will she sleep in our bed?” she asked. Feeling more confident I replied that possibly she would but more than likely we would purchase a new one. “Will she use my golf clubs” she asked in what I thought would be the final question. “Oh no of course not. She is left handed” I replied Thats when the fight started!